The Power of Will

For these past days I've been a witness of that whole "will power", some call it power of thought.  The more I wish things, the more I see all the power is within me to achieve things.  When I say "witness of seeing a wish come true" I mean it, I mean seeing the world move towards a direction that eventually takes me where I believe I want to go.  It's amazing.  It keeps me tuned in faith, when I say faith I mean belief in something bigger than me or us that can lead a good, sincere heart onto the direction of happiness.  Then you think, "wow, that's so nice she knows where she's going" and there's exactly where the trick lies within: I don't.

The more I wish, the more I realize I don't know what I want.  I've seen things get accomplished by me, through me, in front of me but not within me.  It doesn't matter what you wish for, it surely won't fill the gap within.  Nothing that is outside will take pain away, or blow hope within. Nothing. 

Don't take this as a complaint or a melancholic discovery. Nope.  It is only a discovery.  A precious discovery I was able to make by the age of 20, which means I'm in time to change so many things.  It's magical to know that wishes will come true, faith will work out and that a good will can do everything I don't know how to.  I might not know where exactly I'm going, but I'm finding things out in the way and as my heart strongly holds on to positive thinking, positive attitudes, positive everything... I'm tracing a positive road for sure.

It's funny how our eyes can disguise us, many times as I look to things that have no utility at all for me, I feel tempted to have them, or to be like them.  Silly eyes of mine, get impressed with nearly any/ every beautiful piece of image they get the sight of.  Ridiculous.  The real challenge is to not let the eyes disguise the heart, or make the mind feel as if it really needed something that in fact is completely useless... Now I understand why some people go crazy over shopping, for a moment if you don't stop to analyse yourself you really get to believe that having something will help you get anywhere, when in reality it won't change anything but your credit card bill that might exceed the limit, again.

I'm the kind of girl that simply admires beauty.  It doesn't matter where it is, I spot it, I admire it, I appreciate it... I like beauty and I find it in nearly everything/one.  Seriously, I see beauty in things people simply see no fun at all...When I say beauty I don't mean the cold sold-out concept we see everywhere, I mean beauty itself.  But that's another blog...

...there's another beautiful discovery I accidentally made today, Sade has got a new album.  Like, February 2010 new... I'm so full of joy.  She's the picture of beauty.  Beautiful songs, beautiful speech, beautiful pose, beautiful show... seriously, she's the picture of beautiful to me.

Anyways...

G. A.

Colors

As I get older I realize, everyday more, writing is part of me, or I'd say part of what I need to feel good with myself.  I don't really like to expose my ideas to people openly, I don't enjoy exposing myself to people day-by-day but when the night comes I feel like I need to put it all out, as if I need to give myself a brief opportunity to share what's within. The questions is with whom.  As I got older I realized maybe a diary could help, why not a blog then?  And that's how it's been since I've felt this urge to write, I constantly build and destroy my blogs. I'm always re-giving myself the opportunity of sharing my thoughts and when my mind believes there is more than enough of me exposed I go and give myself the opportunity of going blank, I erase.

Nowadays, there is just about too many things I don't agree with in the world, way too many things that bother me and which I can't comprehend.  I'm a dreamer.  I'm a believer.  I dream and I believe.  I'm a little naive with certain things and growing up has shown me life is not always good, or fair as people would say.  I remember clearly that a few years ago, when I looked to the outside world I used to see the good in everyone, the good in all.  I used to believe everybody was nice, that nothing could or would go wrong.  It was all colorful.  Now, all I see is gray.  Somewhere along the road things lost their colors, or maybe I left it at some point.  I'm no longer a child and I've never imagined I'd think this kinda sucks.  It doesn't really suck.  


Where are all those colors I used to see in things tho?  They were naturally there, and now, I just feel that if I don't paint them they'll remain gray, forever.  I must paint my world, is that it?  Why is everything so colorless?  Actually it's like I can naturally see less colors, or a bad combination of colors.  Am I seeing wrong?  Is it something with my eyes?  


I'm looking forward into seeing life more colorful, I'm hoping I'll see a more colorful world, even if I have to put my own colors to it.  If that's what growing up does to us, okay, I'll do what I got to do hoping I can do it in a way other people can see and feel the same joy I do when I put colors into life.  May life allow me to color other people's lives just as I color mine, because I don't know how to live in a gray world, I can't live in a gray world...


I will NOT live in a gray world...


I will not, really.